Estate Planning Conversations to Have During Thanksgiving (Yes, Seriously!)
Okay, I get it—talking about estate planning over turkey and pie isn’t exactly festive. But think about it: Thanksgiving is one of the few times when family members are gathered in one place, relaxed (hopefully), and feeling grateful. This creates the perfect opportunity to bring up some important topics, like your estate plan. Trust me, future-you will thank you for starting this conversation now, before it’s a crisis. 
At Rosenberg Law Firm, we help families have these discussions smoothly, without ruining the holiday vibe. Here’s how you can start talking about estate planning during Thanksgiving—without making it awkward.
Start with Gratitude and Family Values
You don’t have to open with “So, about my will…” Instead, begin by reflecting on what you’re thankful for: your family, your health, and your legacy. You might want to talk about the values you want to pass on to the next generation. This creates a natural segue into estate planning, because—guess what?—estate planning is about protecting those values and ensuring your legacy lives on. Framing the conversation this way makes it feel less transactional and more about preserving what matters most.
For example, you might say something like: “You know, I’ve been thinking about how important it is to preserve our family’s values and ensure we’re all taken care of in the future. That’s why I’ve been updating my estate plan to reflect what’s really important to me.”
Discuss Roles and Responsibilities
Now that you’ve set the tone, it’s time to get a little more specific. Every estate plan comes with responsibilities—whether it’s the role of executor, trustee, or healthcare power of attorney. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to clarify who’s doing what. Discussing these roles now, in a calm and supportive setting, helps avoid confusion or potential disputes down the line.
For example, if you’ve named your eldest child as your executor, make sure they understand what that entails. It’s also a good time to check in with them: Do they feel comfortable with the role? Do they have any concerns? Similarly, if someone has healthcare power of attorney, ensure they’re aware of your healthcare wishes and are prepared to carry them out.
And hey, if you haven’t assigned these roles yet, now’s the time to start the conversation. Better to clear this up over Thanksgiving dinner than during a stressful situation later.
Review and Update Your Estate Plan
Has anything changed in your life over the past year? New grandchild? Marriage? Divorce? If so, your estate plan may need a tune-up. Thanksgiving provides a natural checkpoint for reviewing your estate plan to ensure it reflects your current wishes and circumstances.
For example, if you’ve welcomed a new member into the family, you may want to update your will or trust to include them. Or, if you’ve acquired new assets—like a second home or investment property—you’ll need to update your estate plan to reflect how you want those assets distributed. It’s also a good time to review beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and any other assets that pass outside of probate.
Here’s a tip: Bring copies of your most important estate planning documents to Thanksgiving. You don’t have to go through them in detail, but it’s a good idea to review them with key family members and make sure everyone is on the same page.
Plan for the Future—Together
Estate planning isn’t just about protecting your assets; it’s also about preparing your family for the future. Use Thanksgiving as an opportunity to discuss long-term plans, like education funds for grandchildren, charitable donations, or even how you want future family gatherings to continue after you’re gone.
Ask your family for their input on legacy planning. Maybe they have ideas about causes they’d like to support or ways they’d like to honor your memory. By including your loved ones in these decisions, you can ensure that your estate plan reflects not only your values but also the shared goals of your family.
For example, you might say: “I want to make sure that after I’m gone, our family continues to come together like this. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we can use our estate plan to support future generations, maybe even setting up a family fund or making donations to causes we all care about.”
Make It a Positive Experience
The goal of this conversation isn’t to stress anyone out—it’s to ensure that everyone knows what’s going on and feels prepared. So, keep the tone light and positive. Remind your family that estate planning is a way to take care of each other and avoid future complications.
You don’t have to cover everything in one conversation. This can be the beginning of an ongoing dialogue about your family’s legacy and future. The key is to start the conversation now, when things are calm, so that when the time comes, everyone knows what to expect.
Thanksgiving is about gratitude, family, and the future—and estate planning fits right in. This year, take a moment to have these important conversations while your family is gathered together. Request a consultation today to ensure your estate plan is up to date and aligned with your family’s future.